I have always been taught to maintain emotional discipline, and never to show emotions. Perhaps it is that Vulcan ancestor. (Wink!) To cry in public was always considered a sign of weakness and that was not acceptable in my family. So, I learned that tears were bad, shameful, and inappropriate. When my parents died, I shed few tears partly because it would be embarrassing. The other reason was that there were so many, I was afraid if I ever allowed myself to cry I might never be able to stop. With the loving guidance of a phenomenal therapist who has become more mentor than therapist, I learned that tears will stop when they have done their work. If you allow yourself to cry, it will not last forever. And those tears have work to do. Give yourself permission to allow those healing tears to fall. Peace.