At some point, I believe most of us feel victimized by the loss of someone so very dear to us. This may take the form of “they were taken from me.” I want you to know that it takes time, but it is possible to make the switch from victim to survivor. At this point, the loss is still painful. We still miss them. We still long for their presence. What changes is that they no longer are our every waking thought. We no longer shut down for weeks or months at a time. We still have those special day and anniversary triggers, but they do not take us as low or last as long as they once did. We have survived. My own switch came as I began taking a class on Christian Care and Counseling. I realized that I have used the hurt of losing my parents to help other people experience grief without shame. I realized that I have used my childhood sexual trauma to advocate for vulnerable kids. When you can use your story as an aid to someone else’s healing, you have made the switch. You are a survivor. May God bless you on the journey.