Better off

For the next few weeks, the message will be for folks hoping to offer comfort to their grief-stricken friends. Raise your hand if someone has told you that your loved one is better off now. I see your raised hands even though I can’t really see you. If your precious person was ill for a long time, someone is going to say that they are better off now in heaven than still suffering here on Earth. My unspoken response is usually, “that may be, but I still need and want them here with me.” There were conversations we never got to have, decisions we never got to make together, and dreams we never shared. I was told that it was a blessing Mom and Pop never had to go into a nursing home. Perhaps it is, but I would gladly trade providing that extra care in order to have that time with them. Last week, I wrote of disappointing words of comfort. For me, “they are better off now,” are some of those uncomfortable words of comfort. If you are offering comfort to a grieving friend, these might not be your very best option. There is a pretty good standard for what not to say. If you would cringe if someone said it to you in your time of grief, don’t say it. Peace!

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