Friends, I have been writing this weekly blog for over three years. In that time, I have preached at you the need to rest, the need for self-care, the fact that you deserve to take the time you need. It is time for me to practice what I preach. I am taking a few weeks...

They wouldn’t want you to be sad. Again, these are words that make a grieving person feel guilty for their grief. We are already grieving and now someone comes along to tell us we are doing that wrong. For a time, it is perfectly ok to be sad, to be devastated, to be distraught, to...

At some point, I believe most of us feel victimized by the loss of someone so very dear to us. This may take the form of “they were taken from me.” I want you to know that it takes time, but it is possible to make the switch from victim to survivor. At this point,...

 I seem to be continuing on an earlier theme of uncomfortable words of comfort. Any words of consolation that follow the phrase, “at least,” only serve to minimize the experience of the grieving person. “At least” seems to say to us that we have no real right to grieve, because “x” reason. While there is...

Do you ever have that moment when you catch yourself doing or saying something just like your precious one used to say it or do it? I love those times. It reminds me that my love for them goes on. It does not say that they are still here with me. I do not believe...

It has been nearly five and a half years since my parents died. Some days things come up that remind me of them. Last night, as I watched tv, I was reminded powerfully of a comment Mom sometimes made while people watching. It made me smile. Sometimes those small special memories bring tears, and that...

Chonda Pierce spoke recently about the musings of an earthquake survivor. The quote that stuck with me was something like this, “In the aftershocks, you wait for the earth to open up and swallow you. Who do you trust when you cannot even trust the ground you walk on?” Right now, we live in an...

I have not written about the grief associated with Covid 19 in this space. I have been remiss. Some grieving people were in a recovery period of their grief when the virus went to pandemic levels. Suddenly, the hope we had begun to feel went away again, and we were not really sure why. Those...

For the next few weeks, the message will be for folks hoping to offer comfort to their grief-stricken friends. Raise your hand if someone has told you that your loved one is better off now. I see your raised hands even though I can’t really see you. If your precious person was ill for a...

In the Book of Job, Job loses his children, his wealth and his health. Hearing about Job’s troubles, three friends come to console him.  Job 2:12-13 (NIV) “When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads....